This update is dense, screams of God’s faithfulness, and full of some real-life stuff!
My last update was in May, and this should tell you something. I have been running full steam ahead since taking on the assistant leading role for the fall school here in Lakeside! I have LOVED learning how to lead in new capacities and steward vision the Lord has given me outside DTS and even outside YWAM.
This summer was full of serving all over campus, at a local church, and prepping for our fall qtr. It was also my first summer in MT and (except for the smoke) I loved every minute of it. Mountain biking, camping, evangelism, and some really good moments back in Oregon. Serving with YWAM has so many beautiful parts, as well as really difficult ones. We’re all missionaries, meaning that at any point, we are willing for the Lord to call us to other places to serve Him. This has meant some of my closet friends have come and gone- but I know that despite the distance we can continue growing deeper (though it looks different) because we both chose to love despite the risk.
As some of you know our Fall school started in September and this was a super exciting thing..it’s only the second fall school to run since COVID hit. We have 53 students, and they know what they’re here for! YOU GUYS- these are the people who have left their comfort zones to let Jesus change the world through them!!! These students are full of zeal and excitement for their community and sharing the Gospel. They carry passion, endurance, and inclusiveness. God is refining them- showing them that there is no separation between spiritual and secular when we’re doing life with Him.
For me, this season has all been so new and challenging- and of course regarding and fulfilling. I survived COVID, and have been blessed by the team I serve with here. Every week I get to walk wit students individually, pray with them, encourage them, and push them closer to Jesus. I get to lead worship, teach, and take care of a team. I’m been balancing other things like vision for the campus, serving our community, learning electric guitar, writing music, reviving my tiny side photography hustle, loving family that is back in Oregon well…and lots of other things. At times, all of this can seem overwhelming.
There is something inside of me that says “Your capacity is just being stretched” which is true.. but along with that I discovered a lie. “If you hit your max..you’re done growing..and if you’re not growing you’re dead”. In the beauty of growing and maturing, this lie crept in and convinced me that saying ‘no’ to things would mean a lack of growth. That by prioritizing intimacy over proximity I wouldn’t be doing enough. I started believing that once I missed out on things I would be forgotten. A shift was made that resulted in me putting more value in what I can do rather than who I belong to. A slave would say things like I’ve said over the last few weeks. Yes, I’ve made mistakes, failed people, and let things slip through the cracks, BUT, these things don’t disqualify me from being a leader. On top of that, leader is just a position.
What happens when I’m not leading? What happens when you’re not a pastor, a musician, teacher, or a parent, when your degree doesn’t qualify you..? At the end of the day, the only identity that will never leave or be changed based on how we preform, is that we are children of God (Romans 8:16, 1John 3:1). I need to first, be- be God’s daughter. Live out in the identity that I have been adopted by Him. Then, lead. Then teach. Then be a good friend.
That being said, I have some exciting news, that of which I approach by Gods grace. I have the opportunity to serve by taking on the role of School Leader. Here at YWAM MT, we run DTS in September, January, and our outdoor DTS in June. Now, we are starting a NEW Summer DTS! I have been on staff here for just over a year, and most definitely didn’t expect to be released to lead out in this way, but I’ve been surrounded by a community that believes in me, sees what I don’t always see, and is willing train me up to take this on with confidence.
This means I will lead this school and it will run from June 2022-November 2022. Because this ends in November, I will be serving past my 2yr commitment I’ve made with YWAM MT. I find this comforting and challenging, as I have been praying about extending my time here in MT..but the Lord has made it clear to me that whatever is next, He is with me in it. In this season of Him not revealing what’s next yet, I’m choosing to trust Him more deeply.
Right now, though I feel quite in over my head, I believe that It’s right where I am supposed to be. It’s beautiful and trying. The crashing of waves causes me to reach out and grab the hand of Jesus. To rely on Him more deeply. Trust in His timing, and believe fully in my identity in Him- and share that eternal joyous truth with others.
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